By Willemien Jansen (HST Copy and Content Editor)

The new year arrives and you are rested and ready. THIS year you will get that promotion, lose that weight, get that qualification, get fit. Before long you feel a huge amount of pressure to obtain the lofty goals that you have set for yourself. Self-doubt starts creeping in and you start wondering how you will manage to achieve anything. It is just a matter of time before you start beating yourself up for not achieving what you have set out to do. Once again you feel like a failure. Not achieving what you set out to do can lead to anxiety and even depression.
This cycle is a common one that many of us go through at the beginning of each new year. The fact is that we don't change overnight just because the calendar does. But this also doesn't mean that we are a lost cause. You CAN make changes in your life and you CAN achieve the things you set out to achieve, but you need to have the correct mindset. Meaningful growth can happen at any time and you don't need to wait for the start of a new year to make changes. Here are some ways to relieve the pressure you put on yourself while still making meaningful changes:
1. Shift Focus from "Big Changes" to Small Steps
Every journey starts with the first step. Instead of giving your life a complete overhaul all at once, focus on making small changes, one at a time. Small steps are easier to maintain and can make a huge difference in the end.
2. Set Intentions, Not Resolutions
Resolutions often feel rigid and unattainable. Even the word 'resolutions' makes most of us feel like we won't be able to achieve it. Intentions are more about your mindset or approach, rather than about achieving a specific outcome. Intentions can include things like being kinder to yourself, exploring new hobbies or learning something new.
3. Accept Where You Are
It's okay to not have it all figured out. Don't beat yourself up because you feel like you are lagging behind in certain areas of your life. Embrace where you are and celebrate what you have achieved, instead of focusing on what you haven't.
4. Be Realistic
Setting overly ambitious goals can leave you feeling overwhelmed. If you've never run in your life, it may be unrealistic to think that you will be doing your first marathon in six months. Set goals that are realistic and attainable, and build on small steps.
5. Avoid Social Comparison
The pressure to keep up with our peers can leave us anxious and deflated. Social media easily creates the impression that others are living their best lives while we are left behind. It is not useful to compare yourself to others. Focus on your own path, and remember that social media does not reflect reality.
6. Embrace Progress Over Perfection
Growth is a process. You will often take two steps forward and one step back. Setbacks are a part of life. Celebrate the small successes along the way instead of stressing too much about the end result.
7. Practice Self-Compassion
Be kind to yourself, especially if you don't meet certain expectations. Even if you don't achieve the goal you set out to achieve, you would still have made positive changes in your life. Don't beat yourself up about what you didn't achieve, but celebrate what you did. Self-compassion fosters resilience and helps you bounce back when things don't go as planned.
Change doesn't happen overnight and it doesn't happen just because the calendar changes. Don't be too hard on yourself at the beginning of this new year. Go at your own pace, make small changes, celebrate your successes and remember to look back to see how far you've come.
FURTHER READING
Martha Beck is an internationally renowned life coach and author. For more on her books and courses please go to: https://marthabeck.com/